138. Life with Friendship at the Center with Rhaina Cohen
Just in time for “Galentine’s Day,” this special episode features author Rhaina Cohen on the topic of, The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center. Her book, by the same name, was released today. We discuss excerpts from the book, the unique friendship stories she’s found through her research; and how her own close friendship was the catalyst to her interest in this topic.
Rhaina’s new book: The Other Significant Others (macmillan.com)
Quotes from this episode:
[The term Integration Grief] Captures an experience a lot of people have – something is not going to happen that you would have hoped for, or there was a shared future or a future that you thought might transpire. And then it's not working out that way. And you have to deal with the loss of that vision.
You know, what I often think about are the classic vows, people will say, in a wedding – they're committing to each other, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. That's really the way that these friends show up for each other – there is a sense of commitment and a shared future.
The idea here is to notice when we are being driven by defaults.
TALK BIG QUESTIONS
Use these prompts to have the opposite of small talk in your real life.
Why do we assume romantic relationships are more important than friendships?
What do we lose when we expect a spouse to meet all our needs?
What can we learn from people who put deep friendship at the center of their lives?
